To Tell or Not to Tell? That is the Question.

Help for Partners of Sex Addicts

One of the most difficult questions people ask is “Should I tell the children or our families, or should it just remain between the 2 of us (my partner/ spouse and me)?”

There is no easy answer to this very troubling question. It is something you must think through, and weigh up, for yourself. Also, it is something I would urge you to consider carefully. Don’t give into the pressure to make your mind up NOW. In my opinion, it is better to be hesitant and cautious than to make a rushed a decision which you regret later on.

Here are a few factors to bear in mind as you contemplate what might be the right choice for you:

  1. Once the story has been shared it cannot be ‘unshared’. If you and your partner recover from this, and manage to build a completely different life, other people won’t forget and…

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2 comments

  1. Gee, what a thorny problem. Not sure what this blog is–the question and your answer or… Anyway, my guess is that if a late teenage child asks, tell them the truth. Otherwise I would not tell children. Seems it might interfere with their sexual development. Why would you tell the family unless they asked? Then maybe something like “yes, it’s an issue we’re struggling with” should be sufficient and not feed the gossip effect. I would think a label might send them to Google and too much information. That’s my off the top of my head
    first response. The other answer which you seem to have suggested yourself is that telling might provide a label which may stick long after the difficulty. If not asked I’d not volunteer the info. Get your support from a group that doesn’t use last names.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the comment, and for sharing your thoughts 🙂 It’s a blog for spouses and partners who have learned that their relationship partner has a sex addiction. This discovery often leads to a crisis and is traumatizing for the partner. We try to address the questions and feelings the betrayed spouse or partner deals with in the aftermath of discvery 🙂 I think your suggestion of getting support from a group that doesn’t use last names is a really good one. Support is absolutely essential, and anonymity can make it easier to open and be real 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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