The Long and Painful Journey to Forgive

Help for Partners of Sex Addicts

none of us wants to have our life story2.PNG“The work of forgiveness is not easy. It is not an effortless act for any of us, and it does not serve anyone to minimize the complexity involved in the work of forgiving. No, forgiving is not easy, but it is the path to healing.”

These insightful words were penned by Desmond Tutu, Chairman of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, in South Africa. If you’re aware of the abuses that the people suffered there – false accusations, torture, murder, and so on – then you’ll agree he understands that it’s hard to forgive.

And if you’ve been betrayed, you have suffered beyond words. The damage that it does to your heart, soul and mind are almost unbelievable, and shouldn’t be downplayed. We’re talking about trauma that can resonate for years.

And, of course, you’ve heard forgiving can help you to move on. But that kind of injustice and sorrow grip…

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5 comments

  1. I don’t know why my comment didn’t show up on your site? Another WP glitch. I understand first hand what your saying, it took years of therapy for me to forgive and release. I do get sad for that little girl sometimes but reality is that little girl is grown and has to live with the trauma. Forgiving gave me the ability to move forward, that why I say that on my blog, keep moving forward. I got stuck for many years as I’m sure many do, still trying to be the child even though I was violated in every way. My therapist helped me see that my mother didn’t deserve me and I owed her nothing. It was like a light bulb went off. Why did i keep sending Christmas cards to this woman, why did I stay on auto pilot, my therapist set me free that day. At least with my mother, my father was a more complex process complicated by suicide. I’m sure you can see how it took much more time and strenght to get to that point.
    Have a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, childhood trauma is especially hard to recover from. I’m glad you got the help you needed. Also, that you were able to eventually see your worth, and were able to reach the place where you believed you deserved to be treated as valuable and precious.
      Getting stuck is almost inevitable as the journey is so very challenging and we’re not usually surrounded by people who have had the same traumatic experiences as us. That leaves us feeling very alone. It also means we have to figure out a lot by ourselves (but hopefully with the insight and support of a skilled therapist too).
      Thank you for sharing this, and for communicating hope!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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