Feelings

My life as a dissociative

The topic at the co dependents anonymous meeting tonight was on feelings. I didn’t get asked to share, but here’s what I would say.

“I grew up in terror and fear and so feelings were associated with that. To feel, meant to get hurt or to potentially die. I separated. The perpetrators split me so other parts of me would take the feelings – shame, worthlessness, sadness, disgust, anger. Mostly my feeling state is disconnected and confused. It takes me a while to work out what I am feeling. I only started to notice and develop a sense of my feelings when I began going to CoDA. That’s because they start the meeting with a feelings check and I was forced to think about and name how I felt. I realised behind the confusion and dissociation was fear and terror and that was scary and overwhelming. It took me a…

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