Becoming whole

Owning It

Stills-(E)-02In our first lesson, my posing coach commented on my slouched posture, “Don’t hide your body, you’re a bodybuilder”. Those words ricocheted through my psyche. For so long my body spoke of my position in the world, head down, scurrying through, hoping to be left alone.

But that is not who I am.

If I honestly tell the story of my abuse, over and over I am confronted with brave acts on my part. When pressed into extreme situations, I performed wisely and with courage. They were organic responses spontaneously originating from my core.

How did the kid who survived so much grow up to be me? My behavior was in stark contrast to who I became, a jumpy and nervous recluse. It’s ironic that the abuse I escaped from by my wits, strength and bravery later convinced me I was weak.  There is no shame. I’ve come to learn…

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