I am honored to have been invited to share my posts here. This blog is simply a chronicle of my story, past and present. I am a visual artist, developing bodybuilder, sporadic writer and survivor of sexual abuse.
Since I was a child, I navigated the world by hiding. I developed a complex array of secrets to drown my shame. But it never stopped reaching out and pulling me down. I wasn’t safe from it, I was stuck.
I saw just how brittle my world was when I broke my 17 year celibacy. There were no friends who knew I was or had any inkling why. I saw how completely I built a fragile fiction over my past. I resolved I would start to say exactly those things I didn’t want to. Just over a year ago I began this blog.
I’ve learned a lot since I began. As an artist, expression has always been vital to my well being. My artwork tends to be spontaneous and emotive, but secretive. Writing about my past strips me of that luxury.
I’ve grown so much through writing. Attempting to convey my feelings and thoughts raises questions that have been beneficial to track down. My values and goals have become clearer to me.
As a survivor I’ve searched for others. Hearing their stories has helped me know myself better. If you can see a bit of yourself here, please hold that reflection in compassion.